I feel like there are two reasons behind the endless recycling of various stories/franchises: money and nostalgia. Sometimes, it works but normally it fails. Often filmmakers try to recreate the magic of the original work by making everything bigger and better- but it's a detached approach and one that doesn't spend enough time examining the elements that made the original film work.
And as a viewer, that's disappointing. I don't know why we keep falling for it. But the anticipation, much like herpes, is contagious. We build up our hopes, pre-booking tickets and posting excited updates on Facebook because we want to fall in love all over again with the characters we've come to adore. We want that moment in the middle of a movie where we think to ourselves 'God, I hope this never ends'- that instant where we wish something so magical could stretch on forever.
Then the movie starts and you realise that it's like the studios gave a 13 year old fanfiction writer a budget and a camera.
While the film lurches on mercilessly, all kinds of crazy thoughts are running through your brain. Is this an accident? Is Hoyts playing the wrong reel? What a terrible mix up! How embarrassing it will be for them to admit that this isn't the real movie! Maybe this is all just a terrible nightmare and I''ll wake up for real tomorrow morning and go see the actual film. Perhaps it's that I'm not trying hard enough, if I concentrate then I'll enjoy it. I hope so. I really, really hope so. Who was deluded enough to think that anybody would enjoy this? I want my 16 dollars back. What on earth were they thinking? Dear God, when will this hell end?! I'm never going to trust a movie that's just called Name of the First Film 2 ever again.
You leave the theatre dejectedly- betrayed and just that little bit more cynical about the world. Sure, it's fun to look back on years later when you're brainstorming ideas for this blog post with your brother, but at the time you were bitter. Very bitter.
In no particular order, here are some of the Worst Sequels Ever.
In no particular order, here are some of the Worst Sequels Ever.
- Ocean's Twelve. So there's like, something about an egg and some money. And like, Catherine Zeta Jones can't quite settle on an accent. Oh and don't forget Julia Roberts playing a character playing Julia Roberts. OH LOL! LOVE THE SELF REFERENTIAL IRONY! It still makes me angry that the general public paid money just to watch a bunch of celebrities on holiday in Europe.
- Shrek the Third. This was supposed to be funny. It wasn't. There are enough cranky, commitment phobic human men in real life. Like we need to see an ogre running away from the prospect of fatherhood.
- Sex and the City 2. The. Most. Upsetting. Movie. Ever.
- Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. This was just a mess. It's about an hour too long. Elizabeth Swann is like the town bicycle, getting it on with every eligible male on screen. Jack Sparrow loses all his skeevy charm. And Angry!Will is embarrassing.
- Matrix Reloaded. All I remember about this film was having to watch what felt like a 90 minute sex scene between Trinity and Neo while sitting next to my Dad.
- Charlie's Angels 2. For some reason I cannot fathom, I have seen this film four times. AND I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S ABOUT.
- Legally Blond 2. Why, Reese? Why, why, why?
- High School Musical 2. I think the reason that there's so much Unresolved Sexual Tension portrayed in entertainment is because once the It Couple actually gets together, it's boring. After all, unless you're the one that's loved up, it's lame and slightly nauseating. (See Season Three Gossip Girl.) What I'm trying to say here is that HSM was kind of fun- in a camp Disney telemovie kind of way. But move the cast to a summer resort where Zefron and Vanessa spend the entire film whispering sweet nothings and you have a legitimate reason to end your own life.
- Night at the Museum 2. The first one was fun. It was. C'mon, you guys- DINOSAURS COMING TO LIFE! But the moment Amy Adams stepped on screen with her whole 'I'm-a-jocular-woman-from-the-past-you-had-better-respect-me-young-man-or-I'mma-wag-my-finger-at-you' demeanour, there was no hope for this film.
- Mulan 2. Love makes awesome female role models whipped.
Other Hollywood Mistakes: The black version of Death at a Funeral. Take a moment to imagine what that would be like. Well, you're right.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Nobody needs to see a mutant baby bite its way out of Kristen Stewart's womb.
Pirates of the Caribbean 4: (See Ocean's Twelve) If we wanted to see Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush frolic on a beach in tights, we would go to a very niche adult store that caters to that kind of thing.
So what do you guys think? What sequels/remakes have let you down the most? Which were actually worth the price of the ticket? Toy Story 3 was good, yes. Very good. But my brother and I think that The Dark Knight was the best sequel we've ever seen. Perhaps we're being a bit harsh, not considering Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, but we're only human.
This post is a part of Kid in the Front Row's 'Sequels, Remakes and Reboots' blogathon. Check his own post out here.
This post is a part of Kid in the Front Row's 'Sequels, Remakes and Reboots' blogathon. Check his own post out here.
The Matrix Reloaded is like manna from heaven to a good movie starved world. How dare you take the Matrix's name in vain by dissin' one of the trinity like that. Repent! Repent before it's too late!
ReplyDeleteHahaha. I don't mean to be a hater. But did you really find it better than the original?
ReplyDeleteI second that Matrix Reloaded is not only better than the original but it provides information that makes the original even better.
ReplyDeleteI'd also say that Pirates 3 was the most enjoyable of the three films and The "Black" Death at a Funeral was much better than the british original. And though Dark Knight was good, is it really a better sequel than say The Godfather, Stolen Kisses, Aparajito, Terminator?
Starting off, love this, it was hilarious.
ReplyDeleteMatrix Reloaded is something you can only appreciate if you've watched them all a few times and paid close attention- in other words, you'll appreciate it if you're a pretentious film student, like me. So, like the other commenters here, i liked it but i'm comfortable admitting that as a movie in its own right, it was only ok- a bit pompous. it's really a cult film.
Please add ocean's 13 to your list as well. My god, that was a flop.